Romantic Moment -- Tony Hoagland

(Poem #199)Romantic Moment After seeing the documentary we walk down Canyon Road, Into the plaza of art galleries and high end clothing stores Where the mock orange is fragrant in the summer light And the smooth adobe walls glow fleshlike in the dark. It is just our second date, and we sit down on a bench, Holding hands, not looking at each other, And if I were a bull penguin right now I would lean over And vomit softly into the mouth of my beloved And if I were a peacock I’d flex my gluteal muscles to Erect and spread the quills of my cinemax tail. If she were a female walkingstick bug she might Insert her hypodermic probiscus directly into my neck And inject me with a rich hormonal sedative Before attaching her egg sac to my thoracic undercarriage, And if I were a young chimpanzee I would break off a nearby treelimb And smash all the windows in the plaza jewelry stores. And if she was a Brazilian leopardfrog she would wrap her impressive Tongue three times around my right thigh and Pummel me softly against the surface of our pond And I would know her feelings were sincere. Instead we sit awhile in silence, until She remarks that in the relative context of tortoises and igunanas, Human males seem to be actually rather expressive And I say that female crocodiles really don’t receive Enough credit for their gentleness, Then she suggests that it is time for us to go To get some ice cream cones and eat them. -- Tony Hoagland