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Romantic Moment -- Tony Hoagland

(Poem #199)Romantic Moment
 After seeing the documentary we walk down Canyon Road,
 Into the plaza of art galleries and high end clothing stores

 Where the mock orange is fragrant in the summer light
 And the smooth adobe walls glow fleshlike in the dark.

 It is just our second date, and we sit down on a bench,
 Holding hands, not looking at each other,

 And if I were a bull penguin right now I would lean over
 And vomit softly into the mouth of my beloved

 And if I were a peacock I’d flex my gluteal muscles to
 Erect and spread the quills of my cinemax tail.

 If she were a female walkingstick bug she might
 Insert her hypodermic probiscus directly into my neck

 And inject me with a rich hormonal sedative
 Before attaching her egg sac to my thoracic undercarriage,

 And if I were a young chimpanzee I would break off a nearby treelimb
 And smash all the windows in the plaza jewelry stores.

 And if she was a Brazilian leopardfrog she would wrap her impressive
 Tongue three times around my right thigh and

 Pummel me softly against the surface of our pond
 And I would know her feelings were sincere.

 Instead we sit awhile in silence, until
 She remarks that in the relative context of tortoises and igunanas,

 Human males seem to be actually rather expressive
 And I say that female crocodiles really don’t receive

 Enough credit for their gentleness,
 Then she suggests that it is time for us to go

 To get some ice cream cones and eat them.
-- Tony Hoagland

Valentine -- Wendy Cope

(Poem #198)Valentine
 My heart has made its mind up
 And I’m afraid it’s you.
 Whatever you’ve got lined up,
 My heart has made its mind up
 And if you can’t be signed up
 This year, next year will do.
 My heart has made its mind up
 And I’m afraid it’s you.
-- Wendy Cope

Math Is Beautiful and So Are You -- Becky Dennison Sakellariou

(Poem #197)Math Is Beautiful and So Are You
 If n is an even number
 then I’ll kiss you goodnight right here,
 but if the modulus k is the unique solution,
 I’ll take you in my arms for the long night.
 
 When the properties are constrained as well as incomplete,
 I’ll be getting off the train at this stop.
 However, if there is some positive constant,
 then I’ll stay on board for a while longer.
 
 When it says that the supremum deviates from the least zero,
 my heart closes off.
 But if all moments are infinite and you can hear me,
 I will open out for you.
 
 This sequence satisfies the hypothesis of uniformity,
 and because we know that approximation is possible
 and that inequality is an embedding factor,
 come, let’s try once more.
-- Becky Dennison Sakellariou